Experiments in Living

If you haven’t heard of Susan Jeffers, I’m willing to bet that you’ve heard of her best-selling book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway! You might not know that Jeffers received countless rejections of her manuscript, including one editor who commented that “Lady Di could be cycling nude down the street giving this book away and no-one would read it”.

I first heard of Susan Jeffers some time in the mid-90s on a daytime talk show. They were discussing Feel the Fear, and I identified with it. I was in my late teens at the time and I was building up my self confidence from a base of practically zero. It was around this time that I first experienced depression, and the fact that someone had written a book which could have been for me personally touched me deeply.

Through Feel the Fear, we learn that there is only really one fear, the fear that if x, y or z thing that we are scared should come to pass WE WON’T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT! And there it is, whatever happens, good, bad or just plain frustrating, you can and will handle it. You will handle it because there is no other option!

Whatever life hands me, I’ll handle it!

Susan Jeffers knows what she is talking about. As a young woman, she did the expected thing of marrying young and having two children. However, she had that feeling that she should be doing more with her life (how many of us have that feeling but ignore it?). Susan went back to study and eventually gained a PhD in psychology. After ending her first marriage of 16 years she went to work on the Floating Hospital in New York as executive director. That time of being single and meeting challenging situations of some of New York’ neediest people head on gave Susan a lot of the experience she draws on in her writing.

Susan lost one of her breasts to cancer, so she has had plenty of life experience in “handling it”. Just before leaving the Floating Hospital and starting her writing career, she met her current husband Mark Shelmerdine. Through wisdom and insight which can only be gained through experience, she shares with us in matter of fact yet caring way, how we can carry on despite what may be going on in our lives, that no matter how bleak things may seem, we don’t know what may be waiting for us around the corner.

This short You Tube clip captures the essence of Feel the Fear beautifully.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCCwO8Uge3U]

Say yes to your universe

What makes Jeffers special for me is that although she advocates positive thinking and focusing on the best of who you are, she also encourages her readers not to deny the pain that life sometimes causes. Pain is not simply caused by a lack of positive attitude, she argues, but is part of life’s experiences. Sometimes we all have to visit the Land of Tears. Lift yourself out of the victim mindset and find strength from the challenges that life is giving you. Accept them and grow from them, that is the difference between the pain of YES (growing pains) and the pain of NO (denial).

Rediscovery

My friends and family know that I love to declutter and that includes books! The majority of books, I read, enjoy, learn from and pass on to someone else (excluding reference books which I refer to). Following the breakup of my relationship of nearly three years, I rediscovered End the Struggle and Dance with Life, which I have been re-reading. I figured that since I had kept this book, it must be good, and since life was feeling a bit of a struggle, a re-read seemed appropriate. I was not disappointed! I also found the cassette tape of Inner Talk for a Confident Day, fortunately my car is so old it still has a cassette player!

I will leave you with one of my favourite affirmations from Inner Talk for a Confident Day, which I listen to on my car stereo when I feel life dragging me down.

Today, I take the time to truly care. I reach out and touch. I open up to the pain in other people’s lives and respond with compassion.

Thank you Susan for the inspiration that you have brought to so many people’s lives around the world.

If you would like to read about other heroes of healing, please visit the Heroes of Healing group writing project at Heal Pain Naturally.

Tags: heroes of healing, inspiration, Personal Growth, self help, Susan Jeffers